I miss you

It's cold here and I am feeling strange today. Stressed out to the max and wanting a boy. I simply don't know what I am doing with my life. Lately I have been thinking what if I don't go back to school here? I know the choice is up to me, but I feel like I will be letting so many people down. That people will be disappointed in me and I really hate that! Going home will help me calm down I hope. Matt Nathanson is playing right now and it is really calming. I really like his music. It is great. Right now I am doing breathing exercises right now because I am so stressed. I don't know what I am doing. I feel a little bit lost, like the path for the rest of my life is covered with leaves. I need to clean things up and figure things out.